Mostly people will say "setengah mati" words ...I used to heard this words, I even used to said this "setengah mati". But I think I never really know what it means...
Until I face it, like now... But I prefer to say it "setengah hidup" .. Coz I'm no longer like mostly people and trying to be positive.
This is what I feel for these recent years.
I can't do what I wanna do
I can't say what I wanna say
I can't even take any decisions..
The fact that I'm now 19 years old seems like doesn't give me any chance to get my rights.. And its devastated..
For now, I'd like to go overseas .. Mm, taking master degree,, perhaps.. Get a job and live in my apartment .. So I can go to work in d morning, studying at evening.. hang out with pals, shopping.. saving.. anything, be independent and do my own things..
Dunno what I really want.. Or really wanna do.. and i dunno whether its good for me or not..
just.. let me do it first .. okkk?? mom dad sis.. plissss
more over with those kinda cultures and rules.. can't be this or that way.. such a big wall, and this dream keep forcing to burst out, push me to climb or even just break this big wall in front of my head..sooo sickoooooo!!
less than three months, i'm going 20 years old...will i still in this way?? i have to do something.. i can't just do this everytime.. still they dunno what i want.. or perhaps they just pretend to dunno.. its frustrating me..d'oh
mood for now : confuseeee' -,-"
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